Woman tells her sister-in-law she actually isn’t middle class and the sister-in-law gets very upset: ‘I said there were a lot of people who "survive" on a lot less. She rolled her eyes and said that was easy for me to say’

Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor

Oct 16, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

The middle-class identity crisis. Who's allowed to feel financially vulnerable?

Being middle class has become an identity some people feel entitled to claim. It's no longer an economic category, but more of a concept to identify with.

Both ends of the economic spectrum have negative connotations. Nobody likes to be categorised into the upper class, because being classified there implies that you have a lot of privilege over many unfortunate people. And of course, nobody likes being identified with the lower class because it feels like you're being cast out.

It takes a different kind of lucidity to learn your place in society without being prejudiced. It's about knowing what privileges or lack thereof you have, and what you can do about them.

When I realized I couldn't buy a house or live alone in a fancy apartment at 22 because, unlike my friends who did, I didn't have rich parents who paid for much of my stuff, it was freeing to me, and it allowed me not to feel so behind and to focus on earning my freedom step by step.

Still, for some reason, it's much easier to recognise one's limitations than to acknowledge you have privileges over other people. Even though my family faced a few financial struggles while I was growing up, I had friends who had it way worse, and sadly, that had an impact on how far they could go in life.

Making an effort to recognise one's privileges and limitations makes it much easier not to blame individuals as much for their financial shortcomings and to see the structures behind them.

Sometimes, identifying as middle class is not about how much money you have, but more about the kind of person you believe yourself to be.

People tend to evaluate their financial position based on people around them and completely lose sight of the rest of society. Yes, you might be struggling more than your uber-wealthy neighbours, but that doesn't make you poor.

Also, a strange phenomenon happens when you expand your income: expenses upgrade as well. A high income doesn't necessarily mean financial security when expenses expand to match it. Still, it does mean a better quality of life, and we should take that into consideration when we talk about our financial status.

Wealth on paper doesn't necessarily mean you are financially secure, and it is not the same thing as having a lot of money to spend month by month, but it surely doesn't mean you're economically vulnerable.

Financial anxiety is real, but that doesn't make everyone middle class. There is a difference between subjective and objective class, and to me, only that can set us free and help us figure out how to solve our problems.

In the end, the only thing we might have to give up is our membership to a high-end gym. We really have to be honest about what we can really afford and what we can't.

And also, being privileged doesn't mean you're a bad person!

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The woman saying 'But you're not middle class'
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AITA for telling my SIL that she/BIL aren't middle class?

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The argument with her sister-in-law
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How the middle class lives
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